Thankful for Twenty-Three Years | 30 Days of Gratitude, day 13

Obviously, like many of my writing projects lately, my “30 Days of Gratitude” got extended far beyond the 30 days of November, but I still want to complete 30 days, so I’m persevering in spite of my failings.

It was my birthday recently, and I was tempted to feel a little sad.  Twenty-three feels so different than any other birthday before.  I don’t think I ever thought much beyond 22, because that was the age I was to graduate college, and who knew what would come after that.  Well, here we are, and I’m feeling the same way.  Who knows what comes after this?

I don’t.  That’s for sure… so in one way, twenty-three makes me feel a little aimless, a little lost, and a lot inadequate (and yes I know that’s grammatically incorrect).  I think part of me felt like I didn’t need to think beyond 22, because by the time twenty-three came around I would have things figured out.  I’d have a job, and be paying all of my own bills with my own, earned money.  I’d be successful.

I’m not though, which must mean I’m a failure.

Al right.  SO I’ll work harder.  I’ll change my tactics.  I’ll find a way to achieve this thing I’m supposed to be at twenty-three, and my first step can be choosing to be thankful for these three and twenty years of life, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, easy days and difficult ones.

This is two and a third decades now that I have had the amazing opportunity to know oxygen, and smiles, and family, and delicious food, and cool summer evenings and crisp autumn mornings, and rainy February days and glorious April dawns.  Twenty-three years that I’ve gotten to spend writing, singing, petting dogs and hugging horses, playing ivory keys and steal strings, and dancing and running and leaping.  And how the Lord has been faithful.  How he has brought me to him, and taught me to pray, and seek first His kingdom, and call him my sovereign.  Oh there are too many joys to count!

Have I a great deal to learn?  Oh yes.  Have I a deep longing to be different than the girl I am now?  For sure.  But wow I’m glad to be alive.  Oh God, use every second of it for your glory!

Thankful for the Opportunity to Be Thankful | 30 Days of Gratitude, Day 1

I have been looking for a job for over six weeks now.  As many likely can attest, six weeks of job searching is equivalent to six weeks of anxiety, repeated rejection, self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, impatience, frustration, and a whole host of other things I could list.  I thought it was about time I started focussing on the positives a bit more habitually.  It’s easy to get caught up in thoughts like,

“What happens next?”

“Why isn’t this working?”

“I’m not good enough.”

“How can I improve?”

“Am I ever going to be successful?”

But every time I voice those thoughts, I am met with the same response.

“You’ve just gotta keep plugging away.”

Yes, that’s all there is to do, and in the meantime, I could probably boost my productivity in that endeavor with a more positive, more God-centered outlook.

To that end, I intend to use this November, as many do, as an opportunity for me to reflect on the things for which I am thankful, or, as Paul puts it:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8, NIV)

Tonight, I’m thinking about how thankful I am for the opportunity to be thankful.  No matter how dark the day, I always have the opportunity to turn my thoughts to these things, these noble, lovely things, illuminated in the shadows by the light of Christ.  There could be any number of anxieties, terrors, tragedies, and yet Jesus remains, and every good and perfect gift is from his hand, and meant to turn me to him.

Praise Jesus that even when there are storms, there is the rush of rain to lull me to sleep, and the flash of lightening to dazzle my eyes.  Praise him that even in the midst of fire, there is the brilliant color and the exhilarating dance of flames.  Praise him that when I am jobless, I have the time to be with my guide dog, brother, and roomies, work on creative projects, explore my city, try new hobbies, study God’s word, and be grateful for it all.

And so here begins a journey of gratitude in a time of trial.  Wherever you are in life, I hope it will prove encouraging for both of us.