Obviously, like many of my writing projects lately, my “30 Days of Gratitude” got extended far beyond the 30 days of November, but I still want to complete 30 days, so I’m persevering in spite of my failings.
It was my birthday recently, and I was tempted to feel a little sad. Twenty-three feels so different than any other birthday before. I don’t think I ever thought much beyond 22, because that was the age I was to graduate college, and who knew what would come after that. Well, here we are, and I’m feeling the same way. Who knows what comes after this?
I don’t. That’s for sure… so in one way, twenty-three makes me feel a little aimless, a little lost, and a lot inadequate (and yes I know that’s grammatically incorrect). I think part of me felt like I didn’t need to think beyond 22, because by the time twenty-three came around I would have things figured out. I’d have a job, and be paying all of my own bills with my own, earned money. I’d be successful.
I’m not though, which must mean I’m a failure.
Al right. SO I’ll work harder. I’ll change my tactics. I’ll find a way to achieve this thing I’m supposed to be at twenty-three, and my first step can be choosing to be thankful for these three and twenty years of life, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, easy days and difficult ones.
This is two and a third decades now that I have had the amazing opportunity to know oxygen, and smiles, and family, and delicious food, and cool summer evenings and crisp autumn mornings, and rainy February days and glorious April dawns. Twenty-three years that I’ve gotten to spend writing, singing, petting dogs and hugging horses, playing ivory keys and steal strings, and dancing and running and leaping. And how the Lord has been faithful. How he has brought me to him, and taught me to pray, and seek first His kingdom, and call him my sovereign. Oh there are too many joys to count!
Have I a great deal to learn? Oh yes. Have I a deep longing to be different than the girl I am now? For sure. But wow I’m glad to be alive. Oh God, use every second of it for your glory!